Love Your Lemons

"We sometimes think that being grateful is what we do after our problems 
are solved, but how terribly shortsighted that is." ~Dieter F. Uchtdorf

So today I wanted to write about something that has basically become the motto, theme, mantra, etc. for my life.

Love your lemons.

Let me explain what this means.

When I was 18, I lived with my sister in Provo for three months. This was my first time being in a single's ward and I loved it! It was weird not having kids around, but luckily we did have one little girl in the ward. Her name was My (no idea how to spell that, but that's how it's pronounced). My's father was in our bishopric and she was just barely too young to be in nursery yet, so her mom brought her to our ward instead of going to the family ward without her husband.

That little girl changed the way that I look at life.

One of my last Sundays in Provo, My's dad got up to bear his testimony. He relayed a story of a recent Family Home Evening that he had had with his little family. His wife gave each person a lemon and talked about how trials come our way at times, but that things will get better. The idea was that they would hold their lemons throughout the lesson, and then they would squeeze them into lemonade at the end.

The problem was, My would NOT give up her lemon! Her father described how she hugged it close, smooshed it up against her face, and giggled; running around with it and refusing to give it to her parents.

He told us that he got a bit frustrated with My. "I want to make your lemon into lemonade gosh darnnit!"

But then he said that he stopped. He realized that My was teaching him and his wife so much more than they taught her that night.

How many times in our lives are we waiting for our lemonade? Once I get out of the house, then I'll be happy. Once I graduate, then I'll be happy. Once I get that dream job, then I'll be happy. Once I get married, then I'll be happy.

Do you see the problem there? Will you really be happy once you get out of the house? No, because then you'll be looking towards the lemonade of getting married and/or graduating. Then will you actually be happy? No, because then you'll be looking towards the lemonade of finding your dream job and raising a family.

What My taught her parents, and me, through her actions was that we shouldn't wait to be happy "once ____." It's important to love your lemons first, not to simply wait to be happy until it's time for lemonade.

We can find joy in the midst of adversity. We can take our trials and run with them, smoosh them up against our faces, and laugh.

Loving your lemons isn't about holding on to bitterness that needs to be let go. It's all about not waiting to be happy until your trials are gone. Because you know what? There are always going to be trials! Every single day of your entire life, there will be trials. But they only have as much power over you as you give them.

Heavenly Father wants us to have eternal joy. He put us here to learn and grow and develop so that we can inherit ALL that He has. He wants us to be the absolute happiest that we could ever be after this life. But He also doesn't want us to wait to be happy until after this life. He wants us to find joy now!

Life is full of tests and trials, but that doesn't mean that we can't still find so much happiness now, today, in this very moment. We aren't meant to wait until the day we make lemonade (the Resurrection) to feel joy. We are meant to learn how to have joy, right now, in our lives full of lemons.

I'll tell you what. I've been through some tough crap in my life. And I have been the person that refused to be happy until I rid myself of my lemons.

I would occasionally have a decent day, but most of the time, I was just decidedly grumpy. This was especially true the year before my mission. I felt like I was just going to be miserable until I finally got to turn my mission papers in and leave for my mission. And I pretty much was. But only because I chose to be.

I only realized after I turned my papers in- and was (finally) getting ready to leave on my mission -that I had actually been super blessed in a lot of different ways that year. Mostly in that I was sent a handful of stellar friends that helped me to stay any kind of sane and were willing to suffer through my constant negativity. Maybe if I had recognized what a blessing they were in my life sooner, I wouldn't have been sucking on my bitter lemon, but cradling it in my arms.

You can ask my two absolute best friends (the one that I've had since we were born and my younger brother) and they'll tell you that I was SO different when I got home from my mission. They could see that I was no longer content with being upset all the time. I had learned how to find joy in the journey.

And let me tell you, my mission was rough. Everyone's is in one way or another I think, but I really struggled with a lot of things. Mainly my health, which is something that I've struggled against for my whole life and only seemed to get worse on my mission.

But despite that, I still found SO much joy in those 18 months. My first companion in my last area has a lot to do with that. We were together for three transfers and after only a few weeks she had me saying that I was so grateful for opposition in all things. And I was. And I am.

The other person that really influenced me was my trainer's trainer. We went on exchanges within my first two weeks and she taught me something that has stuck with me. Learn to laugh. When a door gets slammed in your face, laugh it off. When everything seems to be going wrong, laugh it off. Your reaction to adversity is up to you.

Look, to be honest, I'm sick right now. I have both bronchitis AND a sinus infection. I've been sick for pretty much the last three weeks and it still seems to be getting worse in a lot of ways. And that sucks. I HATE being sick. Which is unfortunate because I'm sick quite often.

It's boring and I feel useless and I feel crappy (duh). It's the worst.

I've been to the doctor three times, have been given three different types of steroids, and am on my second round of antibiotics. But I'm still having a hard time breathing, am getting lightheaded a ton, head aches, random body parts are sore from coughing, etc. And in the midst of all of this my IBS has been acting up and I should be starting my period this weekend (You're welcome for that little nugget of information). So basically I'm not exactly having the time of my life right now.

But even though I am frustrated right now and all I want is to do is drink the sweet lemonade of being healthy again, I'm have not been in a constant state of lemon-sucking misery these past three weeks. Yes I'm concerned about how sick I've been (more like I've had anxiety gnawing at me for all of the classes and assignments that I've been missing because I have to rest all day every day for the most part). But it's still been a pretty good three weeks!

I've been checked up on, prayed for, entertained, and brought food by a good handful of people. I have been able to receive priesthood blessings. I have been able to spend time with my roommates that I usually miss out on because of schedule conflicts. I have had a couple of hours of energy here and there where I've actually been able to not be laying down. I've even laughed! (Which is a bad idea when you're struggling to breathe, but... *shrugs.*)

I hate being sick. But I don't hate my life right now, even if it is a bit harder than it was a few weeks ago.

Anyway, I think you get the point.

Here's the thing guys, life is always going to be hard in one way or another. If it wasn't, we wouldn't appreciate all of the amazing blessings in our lives.

This year has been super rough. And I have cried tons and I have struggled a lot with lots of different things, but I've also been happy a lot of the time. Even the week after my ex was arrested, there were moments when I was laughing. And every week since there have been moments of happiness, laughter, and mostly just overwhelming feelings of gratitude. Not for what happened, but for what has happened since. I couldn't even begin to explain how blessed I've been. But the important thing is that I've learned to recognize, and appreciate, those blessings. I've learned to find and cherish little moments of joy that always come in the midst of even (and probably especially) the most difficult of trials.

So yeah, sometimes we feel like someone dumped a basket of lemons on our heads. But do you know what that means?! That means that you're going to have at least a good jug-full of lemonade by the end of this. Isn't that a nice thought?

We don't always know when lemon-squeezing day will come, but we do know that IT WILL COME. And in the mean time, why not be grateful that we have lemons at all? You can't make lemonade if you don't have lemons.

In times of trial, you can be assured that there is a blessing coming your way. That's how opposition in all things works. But I assure you that blessings don't only come after the trial. They come before and during as well. All we need to do is learn to recognize them. Each blessing that we recognize is like another lemon that we scoop up, hug close, smoosh against our faces, and laugh with.

While we can be assured that the lemonade is coming, we don't always know when exactly we'll get it. So why wait to be happy until then?

I love Doctrine and Covenants 78:18-19 where it says:

17 And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours.

18 And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more.

When I read verse 17 I always add the word "already" in front of all of the "yours." The kingdom is already yours, and the blessings are already yours, and the riches of eternity are already yours. Heavenly Father has SO much in store for us. All of those blessings are yours for the taking as you live righteously.

But don't forget that first part. You can't bear all things right now. Life is hard. But you absolutely can be of good cheer anyway! And not only that, but those who live their lives with an attitude of gratitude are even more blessed!

When it says that blessings will be added unto the thankful person times a hundred, I don't think that that only has to mean after this life. If we learn how to truly be Grateful in EVERY Circumstance now, then that means that we are allowing ourselves to receive the blessings of heaven now! We end up receiving 100 times more blessings overall by not only living in such a way that we will receive the blessings of eternity, but also by living in such a way that we receive the blessings of today.

THAT is what loving your lemons is all about. It's about not wasting a single moment of our precious lives rejecting the love of God. It's about recognizing the blessings that He is already bestowing upon us. It's about letting our trials make us better, not bitter. It's about choosing to be happy right now.

Because that, my friends, is what your Father in Heaven wants for you the most.