As I write this, I'm sitting on the couch eating ice cream as a reward for doing my homework. My reward was supposed to be watching Star Wars with one of my best friends, but I took too long, so here we are.
So let me tell you how the last few hours have gone.
I told myself that I wouldn't do anything social until I did my homework. But I've been SUPER tired as my body is trying to adjust to working again, and now being in classes again as well. And I didn't get much sleep the last couple of weeks because I've been wedding planning. (We'll get to that soon, PROMISE).
So I decided to take a nap before trying to tackle homework.
But then my roommates and I ended up having a little beginning-of-the-semester pow-wow since we were all home. By the time we were done, the timer that I had set to wake me up from my nap before going out the living room was going off. Cool.
So I shut it off and then ACTUALLY took a nap. And snoozed my alarm twice.
Finally got up. I decided to take a shower so that I would feel nice and clean, and also hopefully wake up a bit more.
Basically, I was trying to mentally and emotionally prepare myself to do my homework.
Pathetic, no?
So I had a jam-out session in the shower and then FINALLY sat down to do my homework.
It was literally just some reading for my religion class. Not much at all.
But it took me about two hours of mental prep and maybe an hour or so of unfocused reading to finish it.
Oh boy.
So if you're having a rough day here's this:
If it makes you feel any better, I just took three hours to read about 15 minutes worth of religion homework.
Here's the thing guys; I've been SO much happier the last couple of weeks. And because of that, I think that I've kind of had that on-top-of-the-world feeling. Which is great! But then I basically got slapped with the reality-stick. That awesome feeling made me forget that even though I'm happy, I'm still not really a functioning human being yet.
And that's okay.
I'm happy. I'm preparing to marry the most amazing man that exists. I have a job again. I'm back in some classes. I still can't focus to save my life. I'm exhausted. It takes me forever to pump myself up enough to do a single reading assignment. But you know what? I'm making progress.
I'm not where I wish that I was, but I'm a lot farther than I thought that I would be anytime soon.
Happiness ≠ Functionality
But being functional doesn't always equal happiness either. We simply have to work with what we've got.
This is all a work in progress. And I AM making progress.
So I guess that's all I can really ask for.
Ps- Yes, I am engaged. Yes, it came out of nowhere. Yes, I promise that I will be writing about that soon! Things have been pretty hectic, which is why I haven't posted in so long, and now I'm back in classes, so things are still hectic. But I'm working on it and I will have something up as soon as I can!
