Today in church, a young man said the first sacrament prayer three times. He made little mistakes in the wording each time, but we continued after the third prayer. I can only imagine how embarrassing that might feel for a teenage boy to finish reciting the prayer only to get a shake of the head telling him to try again. But today, I am so grateful that he said it twice.
I noticed during that first prayer that there was a mistake, so was unsurprised when he started again after finishing. I didn't notice a mistake the second time, but he started once more after finishing. It wasn't until he said the prayer the third time that I really focused in on the meaning of the sacrament, Easter, and Christ's Atonement. It was then that I was filled with the love of God. I could feel how much He loves me: enough to send His Son to suffer unimaginable pain and die for me. I was filled with the Spirit in a way that I don't often feel, even at church. Through the rest of the sacrament portion of the meeting, I was able to really think about what Christ means to me in my life.
That third sacrament prayer set the tone for the whole meeting for me.
I couldn't stop tears from spilling over as I listened to a brother in my ward sing "Savior, Redeemer of My Soul" and thought of how much I need the redemptive power of Christ in my own life.
I felt a very personal connection with my Savior as I listened to one of the sister missionaries speak of a time when there will be no more sorrow or pain. And as she spoke of hope and promised that God would work miracles in my life, I felt the truth of her words and was reminded that I am not resigned to suffer from the effects of the past forever. I really will be healed of the pain that I have felt so deeply from the actions of another, because the actions of Christ enable me to do so.
As I sang "In Christ Alone" for the closing musical number in the choir, I was filled with hope, love, and joy as I thought about all that Christ has done, and will do, for me personally.
I often feel hopeless; so stuck in the situation that I have been in since my ex's arrest. But today, beginning with a few mistakes made by a teenage priesthood holder, I was again reassured that I have not been forgotten. That I have a Father in Heaven who loves me infinitely. That I have a Brother who suffered everything for me. That I absolutely will be healed someday. That miracles will be wrought in MY life. And I was reminded that mistakes aren't the end of the world. That weakness will not only be made into strength, but that it can be used as a strength right now.
That young man's weakness was made into strength for me. My weaknesses will be made into strengths someday. And in the meantime, maybe my weaknesses can be a strength to someone else. And maybe yours can be too.
Happy (late) Easter everyone!
